Wednesday, June 9, 2010

An open letter to new age chicks.

I practice Zen and I don't hide that fact. But sometimes I wonder if I should. I'm not at all embarrassed by this fact. Nor do I need to hide it because my family will freak out. Nor do I fear how people will treat me. But because new age chicks see "zen" and they attach on to you like a lamprey on a shark.

I understand why this is, honestly. I mean, new age girls usually start upon a spiritual journey by reading some pop-oriented material where the word "zen" is used as to mean "serene" or "of significant spiritual value." So saying that you "study Zen" is translated into "I study serenity" and what's more new age than that!

I am a zen practitioner. I believe in experience. I believe in action and reaction. I believe in consequence and responsibility. I believe in sticking to my guns. I believe in figuring out for myself what's right and wrong. I believe in diet, exercise and meditation.

I don't care about UFO's.
I am not into metaphysics
I have no desire to astral project myself.
I don't care about gods and goddesses
I believe that vision boards are a waste of time.
Chakra, schmakra.

If these things exist, they don't need me to believe in them. If my chakras open up, then they open up. If the universe wants to give me a big fucking car than let it. If Mercury's retrograde through Aquarius means communication will be janky, so fucking what? I will deal with these things when and if they are presented to me. I have enough to handle with living my day-to-day life to worry about such things until they become a part of my day-to-day life. Why waste my energy?

Also, can we please stop using "Zen" as an adjective? Thanks!

Namaste, bitches!

Blake

3 comments:

John said...

This is spot on, perfect. Namaste yourself!

Michelle Myhre said...

Yeah! You're spot on, and smart yoga chicks know geeks are hot.

Renegade said...

I'm a bit late to the party here but, well said. :)If only New Agers would realize that many of their teachings are fundamentally opposed to the Dharma.

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